I have been thinking a lot lately about voice. Where do our voices come from? How do we find a voice? At what point is it a good idea to muffle our own voices? To what end does having a voice provide us with identity, or a lack there of?
I can recall sitting at the kitchen table with the grown ups. My mother always had a rule for us to sit there and if it wasn't followed the privilege was revoked. Her rule--If you sit with the grown ups, then you are a listener only. Grown ups need to have their time to talk. I learned a great deal about conversations, conservation etiquette, and conversation appropriate public versus private topics. This was also where I started to find my voice.
To read this probably begs the question as to finding voice in silence. I know it sounds weird or contradictory. It is a paradox of sorts--to find a voice in silence. However, my voice rose out of observation and listening. I have always been an observer. I often get busted at the mall for sitting and watching others interact. They look at me weirdly and expect my gaze to quickly find a new location. But to me, a great deal can be learned through observing. I watch how facial expressions mask emotion, how body language fidgets or twitches tell us when the heart and mind do not agree, how eyes tell us what people really think when they try to cover up disgust, worry, sadness or fear.
My voice has changed because of this. I learned that to speak to my mother required a different approach than to speak to my students. I learned that my vocabulary switches dependent on the company I am in. I learned that there are some places where silence is stronger than response. Additionally, I learned that sometimes my voice gets lost and will only truly come out through writing poetry or stories.
I want you to think about your voice. How did you find it? What have you learned from it? Who do you change your voice for and why?
